( women laughing, chattering )
OOOH-WHOO!
( laughing, chattering continue )
Woman: Uh-huh.
THERE YOU GO, BABY.
MMM!
- GO FOR IT, BENNY. - YEAH, BENNY! GO GET IT!
GO FOR IT!
- YOU MIND IF I JOIN YOU? - IF YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP UP.
C'EST VOTRE MONDE.
- GO FOR IT! - YEAH, GO AHEAD! GO AHEAD!
( women hooting, cheering )
YEAH, BENNY!
( women shouting, hooting continues )
GO, BENNY, GO!
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
DON'T HOLD IT BACK NOW.
GIRL: BENNY! BENNY!
- BENNY! BENNY! - WHAT?
GET OUT OF THAT DAMN SHOWER ALREADY!
DAMN IT, TASHA! GET OUT!
MAMA SAID YOU GOTTA GET OUT.
TASHA, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT. ALL RIGHT? I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
- MAMA SAID NOW! - TASHA, LEAVE ME ALONE!
MAMA SAID SHE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU COULD BE DOING IN HERE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!
KISS MY ASS, ALL RIGHT? NOW GO TELL HER THAT!
MAMA, BENNY JUST TOLD ME TO KISS HIS BIG BLACK BUTT!
WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?
MA, I AM TRYING TO TAKE A SHOWER!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO PICK ON YOUR SISTER.
OKAY, MOM, I'M VERY SORRY.
BENNY, COME DOWNSTAIRS AND HELP ME WASH THE CAR.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT, DAD. ONE SECOND.
DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME, BOY!
YOU'VE BEEN UP HERE AN HOUR AND A HALF.
YOU THINK WATER GROWS ON TREES?
DON'T TAKE THAT LONG TO WASH YOUR BIG, WIDE ASS.
WHAT IS THERE, A DROUGHT AROUND HERE OR SOMETHING?
I HEARD THAT.
THERE'S GONNA BE A DROUGHT ON FOOD, YOU KEEP TALKIN' BACK.
( chuckles )
- SO I SEE YOU'RE NOT STICKIN' TO YOUR DIET, HUH? - THIS IS LOW-FAT.
PUT IT DOWN.
GET THAT OFF OF THERE!
SO, FIRST DAY ON THE NEW JOB, HUH?
- EXCITED? - NO, DAD, I--
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER MY FIRST JOB BACK IN COLLEGE-- MILKING COWS.
NOT VERY GLAMOROUS, BUT TAUGHT ME TO RESPECT THE DOLLAR.
I THOUGHT THIS SUMMER I'D JUST TAKE A POETRY CLASS.
NO, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR POETRY BACK IN SCHOOL NEXT FALL.
- THIS SUMMER IT'S WORK. PHYSICAL, MANUAL WORK. - BUT, DAD--
NOTHING LIKE PHYSICAL WORK, ESPECIALLY FOR A BOY IN YOUR SHAPE.
GET YOU MOVING A LITTLE BIT.
BUT, DAD, ONLY 10 PEOPLE GOT ACCEPTED TO THIS CLASS.
BENJAMIN, WRITIN' DIDN'T BUY THIS CAR. HARD WORK DID.
EVERY TIME I SIT BEHIND THE WHEEL, I FEEL LIKE I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT FEELING, SON.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
SO I COULD DRIVE THE CAR NOW?
GET THAT "CONQUERING THE WORLD" FEELING GOING.
I CAN EVEN DRIVE IT TO WORK, 'CAUSE MY BIKE IS BROKE.
YOU AIN'T GONNA CONQUER NOTHIN' IN MY CAR. TAKE YOUR SISTER'S BIKE.
- BUT, DAD, THAT'S A GIRL'S BIKE! - WHO'LL KNOW?
- JESUS, DURREL! TURN THAT SHIT DOWN! - SORRY, MR. KING.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, BENNY?
- SO, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE SUMMER, DURREL? - OH, YOU KNOW ME.
HANG OUT. LISTEN TO SOME TUNES.
SLEEP.
TERRIFIC.
HEY. COME UP HERE, BABY.
- ME AND TRISHA WAS THINKIN' ABOUT-- - THERESA! IT'S THERESA!
BABY, I KNOW IT'S THERESA.
TRISHA'S JUST LIKE MY LITTLE PET NAME FOR YOU, THAT'S ALL.
ANYWAY, BENNY, ME AND TR-- UH, THERESA--
WAS THINKIN' ABOUT GOING TO THAT CARNIVAL.
- YOU WANT IN? - NO, MAN, I GOTTA GO TO WORK.
WORK? WHAT ABOUT THAT POETRY NONSENSE?
- OH, MY FATHER DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA. - YOU PUSSY!
- COME ON, DURREL! - YOU NEVER STICK UP FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
- OH, MAN. - ALL RIGHT THEN, MAN. WE OUTTA HERE.
( engine starts )
BYE-BYE, FAT BOY!
FUCK YOU, DURREL.
HE'S TEACHING ME ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY,
GETTING ME PREPARED FOR MY FUTURE!
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF BURGERS,
WHERE THE BURGER'S THE KING.
CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER, PLEASE?
I'll have a burg-- ap-- and a-- lar--
I'M SORRY, I-I COULDN'T HEAR YOU.
WOULD YOU MIND REPEATING THAT?
I said I'll have a large-- ur-- ah-- meno--
- WHAT? - COME ON, MAN!
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
"GET MY SHIT TOGETHER"?
BENNY, REMEMBER, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS CORRECT.
DO YOU MIND REPEATING THAT?
- I CAN'T REALLY HEAR YOU THAT CLEARLY. - OKAY, MAN.
I SAID I'LL HAVE A BURG-- AP-- AND A-- LAR--
- WHAT? - WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, MAN?
THE PROBLEM IS YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING SPEAK!
LOOK, JERK-OFF, JUST GET ME A BURG-- APP-- AND A LARG--
OR I'M GONNA COME IN THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!
- OH, YEAH? - Actually, I'm gonna blow your head off.
SOMEBODY PASS ME THEM BULLETS.
I'M GONNA KILL THIS FOOL.
I NEED A QUICK BREAK.
DURREL!
WHAT, YOU TRYIN' TO GET ME FIRED?
NO, MAN, JUST TRYIN' TO ADD A LITTLE EXCITEMENT TO YOUR MISERABLE SUMMER.
- THIS HERE'S DANA. RIGHT? - YES, IT IS.
DANA, THIS IS MY BOY BENNY. UH, COOL OUTFIT, MAN.
FUCK YOU, DURREL!
GIMME A MINUTE, WOULD YOU, BABY?
GIMME A MINUTE. GIMME A MINUTE. GIMME A MINUTE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THERESA?
OH, MAN. LOST AND FOUND AT THE CARNIVAL.
LOST HER, FOUND DANA.
MAYBE YOU COULD SCORE US A BURGER AND FRIES OR SOMETHING.
- DURREL, I ONLY BEEN WORKING HERE FOR AN HOUR! - CHILL, MAN. I HEAR YOU.
- THAT AIN'T WHY I'M HERE ANYWAY. - WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN?
TWO WORDS, BABY:
THE FUCKIN' BEACH.
QUIT YOUR JOB. LET'S MOB TO THE BEACH TODAY!
ARE YOU STUPID?
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I CAN'T GO NOWHERE. MY FATHER GOT ME THIS JOB.
LOOKEE HERE. LOOKEE HERE. TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.
SO WHAT? A BOX OF SUNGLASSES.
- I GOT 'EM FOR 10¢ APIECE! - FUCK YOU, DURREL.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FUCK ME? - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
I'M NOT GETTING CAUGHT UP IN NO MORE OF YOUR STUPID-ASS SCHEMES.
WE SELL 'EM FOR FIVE BUCKS APIECE, WE MAKE ABOUT FIVE GRAND.
- YOU CAN TAKE THAT CLASS. - NO, MAN.
I'M NOT WITH IT, MAN.
- PLUS THE BEACH BITCHES. - "BEACH BITCHES"?
BEACH BITCHES! THE HOTTEST IN THE WORLD, MAN.
WE GO DOWN THERE AND WE JUST FUCK 'EM ALL,
'CAUSE IN L. A. THAT'S ALL THEY WANNA DO IS FUCK.
THEIR PARENTS ENCOURAGE THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR.
FOR REAL? I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I GOTTA WORK HERE DURING THE DAY AND WRITE AT NIGHT.
- VAN GOGH, MAN, YOU A VIRGIN. - SHH!
WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN'? YOU TELLIN' THE WHOLE CITY.
HOW YOU GONNA BE A GREAT WRITER LIKE VAN GOGH IF YOU DON'T FUCK SOMEBODY?
SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE? VAN GOGH WAS A PAINTER.
YOU THINK VAN GOGH DON'T GET LAID?
BENNY! WE GOT MOUTHS TO FEED, HUH?
AND TELL YOUR LITTLE UGLY FRIEND
IF HE AIN'T BUYIN' NOTHIN', HE'S GOTTA LEAVE.
ALL RIGHT. I'M COMIN' IN.
- ( whispers ) FUCKIN' ASSHOLE. - DID YOU SAY SOMETHIN'?
- NO, SIR. NO, SIR. - SEE WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
YOU GONNA BE LIKE THAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
WE LEAVE AT 1:00, WE ON THE BEACH MAKIN' MONEY BY 3:00, GUARANTEED.
YOUR PARENTS ARE GOIN' OUT OF TOWN ANYWAY, MAN.
HERE. TAKE THESE SUNGLASSES, MAN.
AS SOON AS YOU PUT THEM ON, WOMEN WILL BEGIN FLOCKIN' TO YOU.
Manager: BIG BEN. MY BOY.
YOU CAN'T BE SERVING MY CUSTOMERS WITH SUNGLASSES ON.
PEOPLE GONNA THINK YOU ON DRUGS OR SOMETHIN'.
I THINK THEY'RE HOT. LEAVE 'EM ON.
- BENNY, TAKE 'EM OFF NOW. - THEY'RE SEXY.
- LEAVE 'EM ON. - THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT.
WHY DON'T WE GO SOMEWHERE ROMANTIC?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A BIG KISS?
AAAH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN'?
- BENNY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON? - I'M TRYING TO ORDER SOMETHING
WHEN HE JUMPS THE COUNTER LIKE HE'S TRYIN' TO ATTACK ME!
I THOUGHT THERE WAS A-A-A BEE OR SOMETHIN' ON HER SHOULDER.
HE WAS GONNA ATTACK ME WITH THAT LOOK OF LUST IN HIS EYES.
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU SINNER.
Manager: BENNY, WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM TO BE DISTRACTED.
I'M TALKING TO YOU, BENJAMIN!
DON'T CALL ME BENJAMIN.
BENNY, IF YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR,
I'M AFRAID YOU WILL NOT HAVE A HOME HERE AT THE HOUSE OF HAMBURGERS.
BENJAMIN, I'M CALLING YOUR FATHER!
GIRL, YOU LOOK LIKE A POT O' CHITLINS!
MM-HMM. RAISE ON UP AND LET ME SEE THEM CANDIED YAMS.
OKAY, BABY.
( imitates engine revving )
- YO, DURREL, LET'S GO GET SOME BEACH BITCHES! - ( gasps )
OHH! DAMN YOU, DURREL!
COME BACK HERE, BABY! DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN'!
SHIT, BENNY! YOU WANNA WATCH ME FUCK,
I'LL PUT YOU IN THE CLOSET OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT!
- BUT ASK FIRST! - MY FAULT, DURREL.
COME BACK HERE, BABY. DURREL STILL LOVES YOU.
BENJAMIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME FROM WORK?
- UH-- - ( whispers ) RAN OUTTA MEAT.
THEY RAN OUTTA MEAT. "THEY RAN OUTTA MEAT"?
YO, COME INSIDE AND HELP YOUR MOTHER PACK.
MAN, IF HE CALLS MY DAD, I'M DEAD.
MAN, RELAX. AIN'T NOBODY GONNA CALL NOBODY.
- ( rings ) - HELLO?
BENNY, LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER.
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW.
BENNY, PUT YOUR FATHER ON THE PHONE NOW!
I'M SORRY. YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
DAMN, DURREL.
- ( rings ) - ( sighs ) HELLO?
BENNY, YOU FAT LITTLE CHUBBY WEASEL!
Put your father on the phone right now!
I'M SORRY, THERE'S NO ONE HOME RIGHT NOW,
BUT IF YOU CALL BACK WE CAN ALL TALK TO YOU AT ONE TIME. BYE-BYE.
YO, DURREL, I'M DEAD, MAN. WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
- WANT ME TO CUT THE PHONE WIRES? I'LL DO IT. - NO.
- I'LL SMOOTH CUT THEM MOTHERFUCKERS. - ( phone rings )
DESTRUCTIVE MOTHERFUCKER. WHAT TO DO?
- LEAVE THE PHONE OFF THE HOOK. - YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.
Father: BENNY, WHO'S ON THE PHONE?
UH, NOBODY. IT WAS FOR ME. I GOT IT.
YO, GET YOUR HEAD OUT THE FRIDGE AND HELP PACK THE CAR!
- COME ON, DURREL. - I AIN'T LIFTIN' SHIT, MAN. I GOT A BAD BACK.
- TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE. MOW THE LAWN. - EASY ON THE DOOR, BENJAMIN.
- KEEP YOUR ROOM CLEAN AND STAY OFF THE PHONE. OKAY, BABY? - I'M NOT A BABY.
OHH! BABY, GET UP. CAN I HELP YOU?
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- DO YOU HAVE THE MAP? - I TOLD YOU I DON'T NEED-- EASY!
- I DON'T WANT TO GET LOST ON THIS TRIP AGAIN. - WHAT "AGAIN"?
- JUST GET THE MAP. - LOOK, WE'RE GOING UP AND DOWN THE COAST.
AS LONG AS THE OCEAN'S NEXT TO US, WE'LL BE FINE.
WILL YOU PLEASE GO IN THE HOUSE AND GET THE MAP?
I'LL GO GET THE MAP.
NO, YOU STAY HERE AND LET YOUR FATHER GET IT.
YOU SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR SISTER.
FAT ASS.
MIDGET.
"FIND THE MAP." I DON'T NEED A MAP.
I GOT A COMPASS IN MY MIND.
- ( buzzing ) - WHO LEFT THE DAMN PHONE OFF THE HOOK?
( rings )
MY FAULT, POP.
HELLO?
OH, UH, HOLD ON, OKAY?
- WHO IS IT? - IT'S FOR DURREL.
DURREL? WHAT'S THAT BOY GETTIN' CALLS FOR HERE? DON'T HE HAVE A HOME?
I DON'T KNOW. I'LL TALK TO HIM, THOUGH.
DURREL! THE PHONE!
WELL, DID YOU FIND THE MAP?
- WE'LL STOP AND GET A MAP. - WOMAN, ENOUGH ABOUT THE DAMN MAP.
( engine starts )
BENJAMIN, CHECK ON MY CAR EVERY NIGHT, OKAY?
IT'S BENNY. IT'S BENNY.
- YO, WHO YOU TALKIN' TO? - IT'S YOUR OLD BOSS. HE'S GOT ME ON HOLD.
- YO, MAN, GIMME THE PHONE. - CHILL, MAN!
I'M TRYIN' TO GET YOU OUTTA TROUBLE.
UH, YEAH, YEAH. HOW YOU DOIN'?
MR. WASHINGTON, YOUR SON GAVE ME NOTHING BUT INSUBORDINATION.
INSUBORDINATION?
- GIMME THE PHONE. - HE WHAT?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? - JUST WALKED OUT?
BENJAMIN! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!
- COME DOWN HERE, FATTY! - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
GETTIN' YOU OUTTA TROUBLE. I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS BAD!
I DON'T THINK HITTIN' A CHILD'S GONNA DO ANY GOOD,
BUT IF YOU GOTTA BEAT HIM--
Durrel: You fat, lazy...
- WASTE OF SPACE! - GIMME THE PHONE.
USE THE LEFT. USE THE LEFT.
Durrel: It's for your own good, son.
DADDY, NO! DADDY! DADDY!
PLEASE, DADDY, NOT THE HOT WAX! DADDY, YOU'RE BURNING ME!
GIMME THE PHONE!
I GOT YOU OUTTA TROUBLE.
- YEAH, RIGHT. - GOT YOU OUTTA TROUBLE.
YOU SEE? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE OF HAMBURGERS.
YOU GET YOUR ASS WHIPPED! NOW Y'ALL REMEMBER THAT.
COME ON. WE GOT A BIG LUNCH CROWD COMING IN.
WHOO-WHEE! THIS A COOL-ASS BOX, BRO.
- I GOT IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY. - MAN, WE GOTS TO TAKE IT TO THE BEACH.
NAH, IT'D GET RUINED.
IT WON'T GET RUINED. IT'LL GET YA LAID.
I'LL CARRY IT.
I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL WE GET DOWN THERE, MAN. BOY, I'M GON' HAVE A BALL.
LOOK LIKE I DONE TOOK OFF A FEW POUNDS.
I GOT A LITTLE THINNER HERE. WHAT YOU THINK?
THINNER THAN AN ELEPHANT.
- FUCK YOU, DURREL. - I'M JUST FUCKIN' WITH YOU, MAN.
ACTUALLY, I WAS GONNA ASK YOU WHAT YOUR SECRET WAS.
WE CAN BOTTLE THIS SHIT AND MAKE A FORTUNE.
WE COULD, HUH?
( snickers )
- SO, WHEN'S DANA GONNA BE HERE? - DANA WHO?
YOU KNOW. DANA. YOU WAS JUST--
OH, THAT. SHE AIN'T COMIN'.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA DRIVE US DOWN.
BENNY, MAN, YOU DON'T TAKE SEASHELLS TO THE BEACH.
THEY ALREADY GOT 'EM THERE!
- SO HOW WE GONNA GET THERE? - THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
NO WAY, DURREL!
FIRST YOU MAKE ME QUIT THE JOB MY DAD GOT ME--
- I DIDN'T MAKE YOU QUIT YOUR JOB. - YOU MADE ME QUIT THE JOB.
ALL THAT TALK ABOUT THOSE BEACH BITCHES. NOW YOU WANNA TAKE HIS CAR?
- HE LOVE THIS CAR MORE THAN MY MOTHER! - BENNY.
- NO WAY, MAN. NO WAY! - BENNY, MAN.
- LOOK AT THIS CAR. - I'M NOT ALLOWED!
REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME YOUR DAD SAID ABOUT CONQUERING THE WORLD?
HE SAID YOU COULD DO ANYTHING BEHIND THE WHEEL OF THIS CAR, MAN.
FEEL IT. FEEL ITS POWER! ( imitates engine rumbling )
OH. IS THAT YOUR DADDY? YOU HEAR YOUR DADDY?
"BENJAMIN, YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING IN THIS CAR, SON. ALL THE PUSSY YOU WANT."
DADDY WAS TALKIN' ABOUT PUSSY, MAN. ALL YOU CAN HANDLE.
Benny: DURREL, MY BOY.
READY TO TAKE A RIDE ON THE PHAT SIDE?
- WHOO! - ( tires screeching )
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO READ ME SOME POETRY?
- GET OUT, DURREL. - WHAT?
OUT.
I'LL GET THE KEYS.
( rap music playing )
PICK UP THE PACE, BIGGIE SMALLS,
OR WE AIN'T GONNA GET THERE TILL NEXT SUMMER.
( bicycle horn honks )
- I GOT A PROBLEM, MAN. - WHAT'S THAT?
I THINK I'M ADDICTED TO PUSSY.
IT'S LIKE IT CONTROLS MY MIND, LIKE CRACK OR SOMETHING.
NO OFFENSE, BENNY, BUT IN ORDER TO BE ADDICTED TO CRACK,
FIRST YOU GOTTA TRY THE SHIT. NOW LET'S GET TO THE BANK.
- HOW MUCH SHOULD I GET? - HOW MUCH YOU GOT?
- $300. - COOL. TAKE IT.
- ALL OF IT? - YEAH.
WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY, DURREL? THAT'S MY LIFE SAVINGS!
MAN, YOU GOTTA HAVE MONEY TO MAKE MONEY.
- WE ENTREPRENEURS! - WE ARE?
TRUST ME, MAN. DURREL GONNA HANDLE THE PARTNERSHIP.
WELL, MR. ENTREPRENEUR, HOW MUCH YOU GOT FOR THE PARTNERSHIP?
- HOW MUCH WHAT? - MONEY. HOW MUCH YOU GOT?
- ON ME? - YEAH! HOW MUCH YOU GOT?
- OR IN THE BANK? - EITHER ONE.
- ON ME? - YEAH. HOW MUCH MONEY YOU GOT ON YOU?
UH, NOTHIN'. I AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME.
- AND IN THE BANK? - SHIT IN THE BANK NEITHER.
( music playing )
( engine starts )
HEY, DURREL!
DON'T DO IT! DURREL! THAT'S MY DAD'S CAR! DURREL, WAIT!
♪ I THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT US ♪
♪ AND SO I MADE UP MY MIND ABOUT IT ♪
♪ AND IT'S YOUR LOVE THAT I'M AFTER ♪
♪ GOT TO MAKE IT HAPPEN THEN YOU'LL SEE ♪
♪ BABY, THEN YOU'LL SEE ♪
♪ IT'S NOT ABOUT A BIG OLD ONE-NIGHT STAND ♪
- ♪ I'M TRYIN' TO SHOW YOU I'M THE ONLY MAN... ♪ - ( horn honking )
♪ FOR YA ♪
♪ I'M GLAD TO TREAT YOU LIKE NO OTHER MAN CAN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M HERE WITH YOU, IT'S SOMETHIN' 'BOUT ME ♪
♪ AND IT'S SOMETHIN' ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ SO, BABY, LET ME KNOW... ♪
YOU THE ONLY ONE FOR ME, BABY.
THE ONLY ONE.
( snaps fingers ) NEXT.
YOU THE ONLY ONE FOR ME, BABY.
- ( snoring ) - ( truck horn blaring )
- ( horn blaring ) - BENNY!
- ( continues snoring ) - BENNY!
- WHAT? - BENNY, YOU FAT, STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!
AAAAH!
WHOO, BOY! YOU ALMOST CRASHED YOUR DADDY'S CAR!
HEE-HEE! WHOO!
♪ WHY CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ONLY HERE TO TREAT YOU RIGHT? ♪
DID THAT SIGN SAY ARIZONA?
UH, N-NO, BABY. ( chuckles )
YOU'RE JUST DREAMING. GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I THINK IT DID SAY ARIZONA, DADDY.
NO, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO READ, SWEETHEART.
TAKE A NAP.
- YOU CALLED ME FAT. - NO, I DIDN'T. WHEN?
- WHEN I WAS DRIVIN'. - YOU MEAN, WHEN YOU WAS SLEEPIN'.
IT WAS JUST AN EXPRESSION, MAN.
"YOU STUPID, FAT MOTHERFUCKER"?
IN ALL THE BOOKS I'VE READ, I'VE NEVER READ THAT EXPRESSION.
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T HELP IT 'CAUSE I LIKE TO EAT.
YOU COULD EAT A LITTLE LESS, MAN.
GIRLS WON'T LIKE ME AT THE BEACH.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING CRAZY FOR?
THEY LIKE THEM BIG BODYBUILDER-TYPE GUYS.
BULLSHIT, MAN.
I AIN'T GOT NO BODYBUILDER'S-TYPE BODY,
BUT I GETS CRAZY PUSSY AT THE BEACH.
I GET CRAZY PUSSY EVERYWHERE, THOUGH.
CHRIST!
IT'S ALL ATTITUDE, MAN. LOOK AT THE FAT BOYS.
THEM GUYS GET THE HOTTEST LADIES AROUND.
NOT 'CAUSE OF THEIR BODIES, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
IT'S ATTITUDE. YOU GET 'TUDE,
LIKE THE FAT BOYS, YOU'LL BE SCORING ALL OVER.
- THINK SO? - KNOW SO.
LOOK. THEM HONEYS OVER THERE.
WATCH. ATTITUDE.
LADIES! WHAT'S UP?
THEY DON'T SPEAK NO ENGLISH.
THEY SWEDISH OR SWISHISH OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.
- HOW YOU KNOW? - I DON'T. DON'T CARE EITHER.
IT'S LIKE THOSE PENTHOUSE FORUMS, MAN.
THE ONLY WORD THEY UNDERSTOOD WAS "MERCEDES."
- ( women giggling ) - ( honks horn )
LOOK, MAN, FORGET ALL THAT.
IF I GIVE YOU THE KEYS AND LET YOU DRIVE THE CAR,
YOU GOTTA PROMISE TO DRIVE SLOW.
- I'M GONNA DRIVE SLOW! - NOT TOO FAST.
WHO'S TO SAY WHAT TOO FAST IS, ANYWAY?
WHOO! GET OUT OF THE WAY!
HEY! MOVE IT, MOVE IT! WHOO-HOO-HOO!
( tires screeching )
OWW! OWW! OWWW-OOOOH!
( siren wailing )
I TOLD YOU TO SLOW DOWN.
- THIS IS GONNA COST US MONEY. - CHILL, MAN.
- I SAVED US MONEY ON A MOTEL ROOM. - HOW YOU DO THAT?
THE GIRLS SAID IF WE DRIVE 'EM TO L. A., THEY'D PAY FOR THE MOTEL.
IF THEY DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, HOW YOU KNOW THEY SAID THAT?
I TRANSLATED.
IF YOU FELLAS ARE DRIVIN' TO L. A., I'D GO A LOT SLOWER.
YES, SIR.
NO, NO. ONE ROOM IS FINE.
YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS OVER THERE?
THAT'S COOLIO OVER THERE, MAN.
THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO PAY FOR THIS ROOM.
MAN, I SAID I'M GONNA HANDLE IT.
THE GIRLS ARE GONNA PAY FOR THE ROOM.
- OUR BIGGEST PROBLEM IS HOW WE'RE GONNA DITCH 'EM AFTER. - NOW YOU WANNA DITCH 'EM.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' TO DO? WHY YOU WANNA DITCH 'EM?
I AIN'T TRYIN' TO BE POSTED ALL WEEKEND.
GONNA DROP THEM OFF AT THE ROOM AND GO DO OUR OWN THING.
MAN.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU STAY. WE GO. OKAY?
YOU STAY.
WE GO. OKAY. ( laughs )
FREE MOTEL, BABY. LET'S WALK IT TO THE BEACH.
WHOO-WHEE!
THIS BEACH IS PHAT!
IT'S LIKE HEAVEN, MAN. WHAT YOU THINK?
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I THINK I'M STARVIN', THOUGH.
LET'S GO SOMEWHERE AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT,
SELL SOME SUNGLASSES AND BE OUTTA HERE.
OH, MAN, IT'S TOO LATE TO START SELLIN' SUNGLASSES. SEE, EVERYBODY BONIN' OUT.
WELL, LET'S JUST GO GET SOMETHIN' TO EAT.
MAN, WE JUST GOT TO L. A., MAN!
ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS FOOD?
MAN, LET'S GO GET SOME WOMEN!
DURREL, LET'S GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THERE'S BOTH.
WOMEN AND FOOD. HOW 'BOUT THAT?
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ CHESTER IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ HIDE YOUR KIDS ♪
♪ HERE WE GO NOW ♪
♪ BOP YOUR HEAD ♪
♪ BOP, BOP YOUR HEAD... ♪
GOOD LORD!
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, BABY! ( imitates engine revving )
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. AIN'T SHE, BENNY?
- MM-MMM. - MAN, WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU, FOOD OR PUSSY?
YO, LOOK, DON'T EVEN ASK ME NO HARD QUESTION LIKE THAT.
I'M FIGURIN' TO GO WALKIN' AROUND.
- GIVE ME SOME MONEY. - WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU NEED MONEY FOR?
WHAT YOU THINK, MAN? IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.
SHIT. ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
SPEND THE MONEY. TAKE THE MONEY. YOU ALWAYS DO.
$3?
HI, I'M ANGEL. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
UM, BENNY-- BENNY. EXCUSE ME.
HOW YOU DOING, BENNY?
I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M ALL RIGHT.
SO, UH, YOU GO TO SCHOOL AROUND HERE OR SOMETHIN'?
( blubbering )
SO THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED THAT, UM, I WANTED TO BE A WRITER.
LET ME DANCE FOR YOU.
- WHY ME? - WHY NOT YOU?
WELL, I JUST NEVER FIGURED
A GIRL LIKE YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED IN A GUY LIKE--
- LET ME DANCE FOR YOU. - OKAY.
( slow music playing )
♪ DO YOU WANT ME? DO YOU WANT ME, BABY? ♪
( upbeat music playing )
( whimpers )
WHOO! ( laughs )
DID YOU LIKE THAT?
YEAH.
ACTUALLY, I WISH YOU WOULDN'T HAVE STOPPED.
WANT ME TO DANCE FOR YOU AGAIN?
- UH-HUH. - OKAY.
GOOD LORD.
HEAVENS TO MURGATROYD!
WHAT, MY MONEY NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
D. J.: OKAY, GUYS, LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE SINISTER SHANIQUA!
SHIT, MAN, HOLD UP SOME REAL MONEY.
WAS SOMEBODY TALKIN' TO YOU?
I'M THE ONLY ONE IN THIS PLACE WHO'S GONNA TALK TO YOU
WHEN YOU GOT A MEASLY DOLLAR HANGIN' OUT YOUR MOUTH.
YOUR TEETH GONNA BE HANGIN' OUT YOUR MOUTH IF YOU DON'T GET OUTTA MY FACE.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE A HAPPENIN' BROTHER LIKE MYSELF.
BROTHER? MAN, YOU AIN'T NO BROTHER.
- YOU'RE JUST A SUCKA, MAN! - SEE, NOW I'M GONNA FIGHT YOU.
WHAT'S THAT, SIX DANCES ALREADY?
ACTUALLY, I THINK IT'S SEVEN, BUT LET'S SHOOT FOR EIGHT.
YOU WANT ANOTHER DANCE?
- HELL, YEAH! - OKAY.
ALL RIGHT! BENNY, BENNY!
I SEE YOU DONE FOUND YOURSELF A LITTLE HOTTY.
- SHAKE THAT THANG! - DURREL, DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT.
RELAX, G.
SHE REALLY LIKES ME, MAN.
- HEE-HEE! - WHAT'S SO FUNNY, MAN?
SHE BEEN DANCIN' FOR ME LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT.
- BENNY, MAN, YOU GOTTA PAY HER. - WHAT?
YOU THINK I'M THAT DESPERATE, I'M GONNA BE PAYIN' FOR THIS?
- SWEETHEART. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DURREL?
YOU JUST DOIN' YOUR THANG,
SHAKIN' YOUR PRETTY, ROUND, BROWN BUTT,
- BUT YOU GOT MY BOY HERE CONFUSED. - ( sighs )
BENNY, MY SHIFT'S ALMOST OVER ANYWAY. WHY DON'T WE SETTLE UP?
SETTLE UP?
EIGHT DANCES. THAT'S $200.
I THOUGHT YOU REALLY LIKED ME.
I DO LIKE YOU.
FELLAS, IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE?
CHEAP MOTHERFUCKERS!
OH, YOU REAL TOUGH WHEN YOU GOT ALL THEM STRIPPERS AROUND YOU!
SHIT, BENNY! $200, MAN!
HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?
NOW WE ONLY GOT 50 LEFT.
- 20. - 20?
I SPENT THE REST ON FOOD.
LOOK, MAN, YOU DRIVE. I'M TOO DEPRESSED.
I DON'T HAVE NO LUCK WITH WOMEN.
WHAT'S HAPPENIN', "BRUTHA"?
- WHO IS THIS? - YOU WANNA RACE?
- AGAINST THAT? PLEASE. - WHAT? WHO IS THIS GUY?
BENNY, GET IN. GET IN.
DURREL, YOU'RE NOT RACIN' MY DAD'S CAR.
THAT'S IT! YOU'RE NOT RACIN'!
- RACE YOU TO THE BEACH. - DON'T RACE HIM.
YOU'RE NOT RACIN' MY DAD'S CAR!
DURREL, ARE YOU CRAZY? I'LL DIE.
80 MILES AN HOUR. YOU BOYS GOT ANY DRUGS ON YOU?
NO, SIR, OFFICER. JUST A VIDEO CAMERA.
YEAH, YEAH. REAL GOOD ONE TOO.
YEAH, JUST A REAL GOOD VIDEO CAMERA.
I TOLD YOU TO SLOW DOWN, MAN.
YOU TRYING TO GET US LOCKED UP OUT HERE?
- MY DAD'S GONNA KILL ME. - YOUR DADDY NEVER GONNA FIND OUT.
SHIT, MAN, I'M FUCKED. MY FATHER FINDS OUT EVERYTHING.
"STAY NEXT TO THE OCEAN, AND WE'LL BE FINE."
WHERE IS THE DAMN OCEAN?
YAH-DAH-DAH-DAH! IT'S JUST NONSTOP COMPLAINING WITH YOU.
LOOK AT YOUR DAUGHTER.
SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL AND SHE HASN'T EATEN ALL DAY.
YOU'RE OKAY, AREN'T YOU, BABY?
I THINK I'M GONNA DIE, DADDY.
( dance music playing )
( laughing )
( imitates engine revving )
LADIES, LADIES. PARTY, PARTY!
- ( giggling ) - BENNY, MAN, GO GET THE BOX.
BENNY, GO GET THE BOX!
MAN, I DON'T WANT ANY OF THAT STUFF.
COME ON, MAN. DON'T EMBARRASS ME.
THESE GIRLS ARE REALLY INTO US.
MAN, HOW CAN YOU TELL?
DUH, I DON'T KNOW. COME ON, MAN, TAKE A HIT.
( coughing )
HEY.
- WHICH ONE YOU WANT? - WHAT?
- PICK ONE. I'LL TAKE THE OTHER. - ( coughs )
I DON'T EVEN KNOW THOSE GIRLS.
- WHAT ARE YOU, A BUTT PIRATE? - FUCK YOU, DURREL.
AT LEAST MY FIRST TIME IS GONNA BE WITH SOMEBODY I KNOW.
( speaking Swedish )
( coughs )
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS KEEP THAT SHIT DOWN!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, CASPER?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS A HIGH-CLASS JOINT.
WHAT DO YOU GOT IN HERE, A LITTLE PARTY?
WHOA, LADIES! WHAT'S UP?
YO, MIKEY Z'S IN THE HOUSE. AND YOU GUYS ARE?
THEY DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, ASSHOLE.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
FUCK! THIS IS LIKE A PENTHOUSE FORUM.
SOUND LIKE SOMEBODY YOU KNOW?
WHO?
( slow music playing )
♪ IT'S BEEN TOO LONG ♪
( woman vocalizing )
- YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR GIRL'S THINKIN'? - HOW LUCKY SHE IS?
WRONG. SHE'S WISHING SOMEONE WOULD CALL SWITCH
SO SHE COULD SEE WHAT A REAL MAN'S LIKE.
( sighs )
Woman: YOU LIKE POETRY?
'CAUSE I LOVE POETRY.
BOY, WHAT IS YOU DOIN'?
PLAYIN' GOLF. WHAT YOU DOIN'?
I WAS GONNA GO GET SOME MORE ICE.
SOME CRAZY SHIT HAPPENIN' IN THERE, MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
NO, NOT REALLY.
GIRL'S INTO CRAZY SEX. YOU WANNA TRY?
- TRY WHAT? - STABBIN' THAT!
- SHE WOULDN'T BE INTO ME. - SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD.
- YEAH, RIGHT. - SHE TOLD ME!
- WHAT'D SHE SAY? - SHE SAID SHE LIKES 'EM BIG.
- REAL BIG. - BULLSHIT.
NO, MAN. NO OFFENSE, BUT MY ASS WAS A LITTLE TOO NARROW FOR HER.
YOU FUCKIN' WITH ME, DURREL.
MAN, YOU GONNA HIT THEM SKINS OR NOT?
I JUST WANT MY FIRST TIME TO BE SPECIAL.
YOU SEE THE TITTIES ON HER?
THEY PLENTY MOTHERFUCKIN' SPECIAL.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. - YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW NOTHIN', MAN.
OLD GIRL'S LIKE AN INSTRUCTOR.
NOW GO IN THERE AND TAME THAT ASS.
- YEAH. - YEAH! WHIP THAT BOOTY!
WHIP THAT BOOTY. TAME THAT ASS.
- BUT LEAVE THE LIGHTS OFF. - ALL RIGHT.
AND DON'T TALK.
- SEE, MAN! DON'T TALK? - NO NEED FOR TALK.
I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D READ HER A LITTLE POETRY TO GET HER GOIN'.
SHE DON'T NEED TO GET GOIN'.
- YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME. YOU'RE BULLSHITTING. - NO!
DID SHE SAY SHE WANTS ME OR NOT?
- NOT EXACTLY. - OH.
WHAT EXACTLY DID SHE SAY?
I DON'T KNOW. SHE DON'T SPEAK NO ENGLISH.
OH, YOU ASSHOLE, DURREL!
BENNY, IT DON'T MATTER WHAT SHE SAID.
THE GIRL'S INTO CRAZY SEX, AND SHE DON'T CARE WHO IT'S WITH.
SHE WAS ALL OVER ME AND THAT BEASTIE BOYS REJECT.
- SHE WAS ALL OVER HIM? - ALL OVER BOTH OF US.
- VANILLA ICE? - YES.
- I KNOW I CAN GET IT. - MY BOY.
YEAH. ( grunts )
SHH.
( loud cracking, crash )
OH, BENNY. ( chuckles )
NICE GOIN', LIGHTWEIGHT.
- CHUBBY, YOU DONE BROKE THE BED. - ( giggling )
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST AND WIND AND-A CHECK-A, CHECK-A CHECK-A CHECK-A ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST AND WIND AND-A SHAKE AND A LITTLE BIT OF ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST IT ONCE AND THEN WIND, DON'T NEVER GIVE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST AND WIND AND-A SHAKE AND A LITTLE BIT OF ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST IT ONCE AND THEN WIND, DON'T NEVER GIVE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST IT ONCE AND THEN WIND, DON'T NEVER GIVE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ TWIST IT ONCE AND THEN WIND, DON'T NEVER GIVE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP NOW ♪
♪ IT'S TIME TO GET ILL ON THIS TRACK... ♪
THAT'S IT, MAN. WE AIN'T GOT NO MORE MONEY.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET NO WHOLE DAMN DOZEN DOUGHNUTS.
DURREL, I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY EATIN' HABITS 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T BRING ENOUGH MONEY.
WHOOOOOO-WHEE!
( imitates engine revving ) BABY!
WE'LL WORRY ABOUT MONEY LATER. LOCK THE TRUNK.
HOLD THE GLASSES, BABY.
LATER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LATER?
WE DON'T HAVE NO MONEY, NO FUTURE, NO JOB.
HOW WE GONNA GET LUNCH?
Durrel: HEY, CAROL! CAROL!
- IT IS CAROL, ISN'T IT? - NO. COREY.
AW, SHIT. I'M SO EMBARRASSED.
I TOLD YOU THIS WASN'T CAROL, MAN.
SHE'S WAY TOO PRETTY TO BE CAROL, ANYWAY.
WHOO!
THIS IS MY FRIEND GLORI.
HOW YOU DOIN'? I'M DURREL.
UM, I WAS JUST GONNA GO FOR A LITTLE SWIM. YOU WANNA JOIN ME?
SURE. WHY NOT? DO YOU MIND?
- NO. GO AHEAD. - COOL. LET'S GO.
MEET ME BACK AT THE CAR IN AN HOUR.
WE GONNA SELL SOME SUNGLASSES.
DURREL! ( sighs )
I'M ONE OF THE FAT BOYS.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
WHICH ONE?
UH, THE FAT ONE.
THAT'S ORIGINAL.
HMPH!
( sighs )
♪ MUST BE HOW IT WORKS ♪
♪ LAND OF WANNA-BES, GOTTA-BES AND SOON-TO-BES ♪
( chuckles ) ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ SEARCHIN' ♪
♪ ACROSS A WORLD SO FULL OF MISERY ♪
♪ AND GAMES ♪
FOR SOMEONE ♪
♪ WHO SAID THAT SHE'D SHOW ME THE WAY TO LOVE AGAIN ♪
♪ YOU TOLD ME ♪
♪ THAT I'D NEVER NEED TO SEARCH FOR LOVE AGAIN ♪
♪ BUT I WONDER ♪
♪ IF YOU ARE IN IT FOR THE LOVE AND NOT JUST GAMES ♪
♪ YOU JUST KEEP TALKIN' 'BOUT HOW IT IS IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ SHE GOT THE FAKE FURS AND DESIRING THINGS THAT AIN'T HERS ♪
- ♪ HOLLYWOOD ♪ - ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ A BEAUTIFUL STAR IN A FANCY RENT-A-CAR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT? ♪
- ♪ HOLLYWOOD ♪ - ♪ RIGHT ON ♪
♪ SHE'S A MODEL, SINGER ENTERTAINER ♪
- ♪ THAT'S HOLLYWOOD. ♪ - ( hawk screeches )
- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! - LOOK AT ALL THIS DOGGONE SMOKE!
- DID YOU PUT WATER IN THE RADIATOR? - YES!
WELL, WHY IS IT SMOKING LIKE THIS?
ALL RIGHT, YOU READY TO MAKE SOME CHIPS, BABY BOY?
YEAH, WE'D BETTER MAKE SOME CHIPS,
'CAUSE IF I DON'T, I'M GONNA DIE OF STARVATION.
BIG AS YOU IS, YOU CAN LIVE ON YOUR STOMACH FOR TWO OR THREE WEEKS.
- CAMELS DO IT. - DO I LOOK LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN' CAMEL?
OH, SHIT! IT'S KENNY FUCKIN' ROGERS!
MAN, THAT AIN'T NO KENNY ROGERS!
THAT'S KENNY ROGERS. COME ON. I GOT A PLAN.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A FOOL OUT YOURSELF. YOU KNOW THAT AIN'T KENNY ROGERS.
- THAT'S KENNY ROGERS! - THAT'S NOT KENNY ROGERS.
YO, KENNY. HERE'S SOME SUNGLASSES FOR YOU AND YOUR CELEB FRIENDS.
OH, COME ON, MAN. I DON'T NEED THESE DAMN GLASSES.
MAN, WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY?
- YOU JUST GAVE AWAY $25! - NO, I DIDN'T!
FIVE SUNGLASSES! $5 APIECE!
THAT'S $25. YOU DRAW IT UP.
- WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? - AM I STUPID?
WHAT I SAID-- ARE YOU STUPID?
I DIDN'T GIVE AWAY THE MONEY! YOU DID! YOU THE STUPID ONE.
WHAT YOU THINK PEOPLE GONNA DO WHEN THEY SEE
KENNY ROGERS WEARIN' OUR SUNGLASSES?
THEY GONNA GO CRAZY FOR THIS SHIT.
DURREL, THAT IS NOT FUCKIN' KENNY ROGERS!
- HEY, MAN THE BOOTH. - WHAT?
- I NEED A LITTLE BREAK. - WE AIN'T BEEN HERE FIVE MINUTES!
WELL, GO GET SOMETHIN' TO EAT OR SOMETHING, MAN.
GOT NO MONEY TO GET NOTHING TO EAT.
WELL, GO WATCH OTHER PEOPLE EAT, MAN.
THERE'S A LITTLE POOL PARTY BACK AT THE MOTEL IN A LITTLE BIT.
I'LL CHECK YOU THERE.
♪ I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING, SUNNY DAY ON THE BEACH ♪
- ♪ YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT'S NOT IN MY REACH ♪ - ♪ I BELIEVE ♪
♪ I MEAN SOME PEOPLE GOT HOBBIES LIKE MODELS AND KITES ♪
♪ BUT MINE ARE THE THINGS THAT I CAN CHEW AND BITE, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
- ♪ A FOODAHOLIC OF THE WORST KIND ♪ - ♪ FEED ME ♪
♪ IF I DON'T GET SOMETHIN' TO EAT I'M GONNA GO OUT OF MY MIND... ♪
- ( screams ) - ( seal barks )
ARE YOU CRAZY?
I WOULD'VE EATEN THAT!
♪ I'M GETTIN' PARANOID AND SEEIN' MIRAGES ♪
♪ EVERYTHING LOOK LIKE HAMBURGERS AND SAUSAGES ♪
♪ BUT RIGHT ABOUT NOW I GOTTA TAKE A PULL ♪
- ♪ I'M GOIN' CRAZY... ♪ - ( man whistles )
HEAVY D. THE LINE FORMS AT THE REAR.
- WHAT? - MAYBE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME CORRECTLY.
I SAID, "HEAVY D, THE LINE FORMS AT THE REAR."
IF I WAS YOU, I WOULDN'T BE MAKIN' THOSE FAT JOKES.
I AIN'T MAKIN' ANY JOKES. JUST STATIN' THE OBVIOUS.
FUCK.
MMM. HOT BOX.
HOT BOX.
UH...
YOUR BOX. IT'S, UM, REAL HOT.
Woman: YEAH. REAL HOT.
GOT ANY LUTHER? I JUST GO CRAZY FOR LUTHER.
I THINK I'LL DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
FOR SOME LUTHER.
UH...
HEY! YOUR RADIO!
I THINK YOU MADE HIM NERVOUS.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TEASE THEM LIKE THAT?
DENISE, WHY NOT?
COME ON, YOU GUYS. LET'S GO GET SOME LUTHER.
FUCK LUTHER! LET'S GO FIND SOME REAL MEN.
LET'S GO TO THAT PARTY AND FIND SOME MEN WITH SOME MONEY.
I'M DOWN.
YO, WHAT'S UP, HOMEBOYS AND HOMEGIRLS?
WELCOME TO THE 1995 SUMMERTIME
FLY-ASS PHAT BEACH BIKINI CONTEST, BABY!
- ( cheering, whistling ) - Coolio: YEAH!
WE ABOUT TO HAVE SOME FUN UNDER THE SUN.
LET'S WELCOME OUR SEVEN BEAUTIFUL CONTESTANTS TO THE STAGE.
NUMBER SEVEN MAKE A BROTHER LIKE ME WANNA GO TO HEAVEN.
NUMBER SIX MAKE ME WANNA DO A KARATE KICK.
OH, NUMBER FIVE IS ALL THE WAY LIVE.
NUMBER FOUR, I WANNA CLOSE THE DOOR!
NUMBER THREE, YOU CAN BE DOWN WITH ME.
NUMBER TWO, I'LL LET YOU KICK IT WITH THE CREW.
AND NUMBER ONE, YOU GOT IT GOIN' ON! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
( cheering continues )
Man: I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUR ASS!
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!
HEY, BABY. SO HOW YOU DOIN'?
MAN, WHAT IS YOUR--
- THAT'S MY GIRL. - THAT'S YOUR GIRL?
WHY DON'T YOU BE LIKE HOUDINI-- DO A MAGIC ACT...
- PUT ME DOWN. - AND DISAPPEAR.
- AAAAH! - ( thuds )
SO KICK BACK, RELAX, HAVE A DRINK.
WE'LL BE BACK AS WE INTRODUCE OUR LADIES TO YOU ONE-BY-ONE.
- ( cheering continues ) - I RESPECT YOU! I LOVE YOU!
( hooting )
WHOOOO-WHEE! HOT DAMN, BOY!
GOD! OHH! WHOO-HOO! WHAT'S UP, MAN?
- AMAZING THINGS. - WHAT, YOU SELL SOME SUNGLASSES?
NO. I'M IN LOVE.
WHOOO-WHEE! LOOK! IT'S AN ASS CONTEST.
NOW, HOW CAN YOU REDUCE A WOMAN TO AN ASS?
- IT'S EASY. - ANYWAY, I'M IN LOVE.
- Coolio: GIVE IT UP FOR NUMBER ONE! - ( applause, cheering )
ME, TOO, MY BROTHER. HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAR IT FOR NUMBER TWO!
( applause, cheering )
- WHOO! BABY! - I'M GONNA GET LAID!
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR NUMBER THREE!
( applause, cheering continues )
I LOVE WOMEN BY THE POUND!
OH, YEAH, LET'S HEAR IT FOR NUMBER FOUR! YEAH!
NUMBER FOUR! I LOVE NUMBER FOUR!
WHOOO! WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO!
- THIS IS MY DREAM GIRL. - AND SHE'S MINE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S KICK IT LIVE FOR NUMBER FIVE!
( applause, cheering continues )
NUMBER FIVE. NUMBER FIVE.
I'D LOVE TO BOUNCE THAT ON MY DICK!
- BOUNCE IT! BOUNCE IT! BOUNCE IT! - DURREL.
- DURREL! - WHAT'S UP?
ASSHOLE!
YO, I'M SORRY, BENNY, MAN.
BUT THE BOOTY, MAN! IT'S THE BOOTY!
IT'S BEEN CALLIN' ME, MAN.
- HELLO. - OOH.
SHE MIGHT BE THE FINEST OF THEM ALL.
EXCUSE ME. YOU ARE ONE FINE BLACK WOMAN.
THE FINEST.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, A LITTLE WALK ON THE BEACH?
LITTLE CANDLELIGHT DINNER FOR TWO?
PARDON ME!
NO OFFENSE, GUYS, BUT NEITHER ONE OF YOU ARE REALLY MY TYPE.
WHAT? I'M EVERY WOMAN'S TYPE, BABY!
OH, MAN. I HAD THAT ALL WRAPPED UP IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.
SHE WAS GIVIN' ME THE BLOW-OFF FOR YOUR BENEFIT.
IF YOU WEREN'T DROOLIN' ALL OVER,
SHE'D BE BACK IN MY ROOM SCREAMIN' BY NOW.
THE ONLY WAY SHE'D BE IN YOUR ROOM IS SCREAMIN' FOR HELP.
- PLEASE. - YOU THINK YOU COULD SCORE WITH THAT AHEAD OF ME?
- YOU AIN'T EVEN A THREAT. - BET ON THAT.
WHAT DO YOU GOT, ONE OF YOUR FAMOUS DOLLARS?
- I GOT THAT BOX FROM LAST NIGHT. - YEAH?
TUNES KICK REAL NICE. $300 AGAINST IT.
- BET. - BET.
- HI. - HEY. WHAT'S UP?
I SEEN YOU TALKIN' TO MY FRIEND CANDACE.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S REALLY YOUR TYPE.
- OH, REALLY? AND WHAT'S MY TYPE? - ME.
( hawk screeches )
( rap music playing )
SELL SUNGLASSES. BUY FOOD. GET DREAM GIRL.
SELL SUNGLASSES.
BUY FOOD. GET DREAM GIRL.
SELL SUNGLASSES-- HEY!
HEY! HEY!
HEY!
( tires screeching )
- ( rap music playing ) - ( car squeaking )
DURREL, GET OUT HERE. GET OUT HERE!
WHAT'S GOIN' ON, BABY?
OH, NOTHIN', BABY. IT'S JUST A TWITCH.
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT THERE? - GET OUT.
NOTHIN'. IT'S SOME CRAZY HOMELESS GUY.
- GO ON! - FUCK YOU, DURREL!
KNOW THAT GUY. HE GAVE US HIS RADIO.
HE WHAT?
MAKES ME QUIT MY JOB,
STEALS MY DAD'S CAR,
FUCKS IN MY DAD'S CAR.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT, MAN.
AND I'M DEAD HUNGRY, NO FOOD, NO MONEY.
( sighs )
FOLLOWIN' BEHIND DURREL.
HEY, YOU! I GOT YOUR RADIO!
- OH, UH, THANKS. - YOU LEFT IT WITH MY FRIEND.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT IT BACK.
YEAH, THANKS. I GOT IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
IT'S NICE.
I GUESS I LOOK KINDA STUPID, HUH,
LEAVIN' IT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND STUFF.
YOU LIKE HER, HUH?
- SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND? - USUALLY.
SHHH-- I FEEL SO ALONE.
LIKE A SEASHELL WASHED UP ON THE SEASHORE,
WAITING FOR THE TIDE TO
WASH ME BACK
SO I CAN FIND MY ONE AND ONLY TRUE LOVE.
THAT WAS NICE. WHERE DID YOU HEAR IT?
- ACTUALLY, I WROTE IT. - REALLY?
- YEAH. - IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I'M DENISE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I'M BENNY.
ME AND MY FRIEND DURREL CAME DOWN TO MAKE SOME MONEY.
- HAVE YOU MADE ANY? - NO.
IT'S DURREL!
ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS PICK UP WOMEN ON THE BEACH,
AND I'M TIRED OF THIS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. ALL I NEED IS ONE GIRL.
CANDACE?
EVERYBODY LIKES CANDACE.
WELL, IT'S NICE SEEING YOU, BENNY.
HOPEFULLY I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN.
AND MAYBE YOU CAN READ SOME OF MY STUFF--
- I MEAN, YOUR STUFF. - YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT.
( voices echoing ) MR. LIFEGUARD, SAVE ME! PLEASE! SAVE ME!
I NEED YOU MORE THAN SHE DOES.
CAN YOU GIVE ME MOUTH-TO-MOUTH?
PUMP MY CHEST. I'M NOT BREATHING.
ACTUALLY, UM, I'M NOT FINISHED WITH MY TRAINING COURSE YET,
BUT, UH, I WOULD PRACTICE ON HER.
OHH! OHH!
AAAH! MY RADIO!
OHH! LOOK AT IT!
MAN! OHH!
HEY, FATSO, CAN YOU THROW THE BALL BACK?
- WHAT? - YOU HEARD ME, CHUBBY. THROW THE BALL BACK.
- YOU WANT THIS? - YEAH!
Boy: MOM!
THAT WAS A CRAZY SERVE.
WE WERE GONNA GO PLAY SOME VOLLEYBALL OVER THERE. YOU WANNA JOIN US?
NO, I'LL JUST GO BACK HOME TO THE ROOM.
COME ON, MAN. WE NEED THAT.
HEY, UH, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT BIG VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT TOMORROW?
MM-MMM.
SHIT.
SO WE CAN WIN $10,000 JUST LIKE THAT.
- ARE YOU ANY GOOD? - PLEASE.
SEE YA.
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
BUT THIS IS JUST BUSINESS,
NOT SOCIAL.
WHO'S THINKIN' ABOUT SOCIAL, BABY?
SIR, SIR, SIR, SIR, SIR, SIR!
HEY! WHAT'S UP, BRO?
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON? - MY CAR OVER THERE JUST WON'T START.
I THINK SOMETHING'S BROKE OR SOMETHING.
- CAN YOU HELP A BROTHER OUT? - YEAH, I THINK I CAN HELP A BROTHER OUT.
CAN I JUST RUB A LITTLE LOTION ON YOUR BACK SO YOU DON'T BURN?
NO. I DON'T BURN, AND I DON'T WANT YOUR HANDS ON MY ASS.
YO, MIKEY! THEY'RE TOWING YOUR JEEP!
- OH, LOOK, IT'S YOUR SHADOW. - I TRIED TO STOP HIM,
- BUT OLD BOY WOULDN'T LISTEN. - THOUGHT YOU HAD A PORSCHE.
IT'S IN THE SHOP. SHIT! GET YOUR FRIENDS FOR TOMORROW.
DAMN, THAT'S A NICE JEEP YOU USED TO HAVE.
ALONE AT LAST.
MMM. YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE.
UGH.
UH...
YEAH, UM, I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
♪ IT'S A GOOD DAY ♪
♪ AND THIS WEATHER'S GOT ME FEELIN' HIGH ♪
♪ ANOTHER FUSS IS GOIN' ON ♪
♪ WE'RE COMIN' DEEP AT FIVE ♪
♪ I CAN'T RUN, I GOTTA COME CLEAN ♪
♪ LET'S HIT THE CAR WASH SCENE ♪
♪ OH, NO-O-O-O ♪
♪ SO MANY BROTHERS JOCK'N ME ♪
- ♪ BECAUSE MY CREW WAS FLY... ♪ - ( grunts )
♪ THEY BUSTIN' NEW JEEPS TIRES BURNIN' ♪
♪ HEY, IT'S ONLY RIGHT ♪
♪ IT'S GETTIN' CRAZY ♪
♪ SHAKE THIS BOTTOM ON MY WAY ♪
♪ TO ANOTHER PLACE ♪
- ♪ DO YOU WANT ME? ♪ - ♪ IS HE JOCK'N YOU ♪
♪ OR IS HE JOCK'N ME? ♪
- ♪ IS HE JOCK'N YOU? ♪ - DAMN!
♪ OR IS HE JOCK'N ME? ♪
♪ IS HE JOCK'N YOU OR IS HE JOCK'N ME? ♪
( grunts ) DAMN!
LOOK LIKE Y'ALL DONE LOST ANOTHER ONE.
THOSE SERVES WERE THE CRAZIEST, BENNY!
GODDAMN, BIG BOY! YOU JUST SERVED THE HELL OUT THAT BALL!
THANKS FOR THE FOOD, MAN.
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
BAKERSFIELD.
YOU CAN'T GO HOME. WE AIN'T MADE A SALE YET.
AND WE NOT. NEVER!
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
WHILE YOU WAS BACK THERE STINKIN' UP MY DAD'S CAR,
- THE SUNGLASSES GOT STOLEN. - STOLEN?
I'M LEAVIN'. YOU CAN STAY IF YOU WANT, BUT I'M GOIN' HOME.
BENNY, I'M SORRY, MAN. WHAT YOU GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA GO HOME, ASK FOR MY JOB BACK.
AND JUST SO YOU DON'T SPOIL MY WHOLE WEEKEND,
I'M GONNA TELL THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS THAT I LOVE HER.
WELL, WHO IS SHE? WHAT'S YOUR LITTLE PLAN? WHAT'S UP?
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT THAT.
JUST KNOW I GOT A PLAN. FOOLPROOF.
♪ YES, ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO ♪
♪ I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU, I LUST YOU, I DREAM YOU ♪
♪ BABY. ♪
HERE, I WROTE THIS FOR YOU.
- WHAT'S UP, DENISE? - HI, BENNY.
UGH! HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM?
WHAT DID HE GIVE YOU?
"LOVE TO BE IN LOVE, TO DREAM,
"TO UNDERSTAND YOUR DREAMS AND SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS
THAT YOU HAVE FOUND THE ONE YOU LOVE."
- ( laughing ) - WOW.
I THINK THAT'S REALLY ELOQUENT.
WELL, IF THAT MEANS STUPID, I AGREE.
YOU GUYS ARE COLDHEARTED. HE'S A REALLY NICE GUY.
- NOT LIKE HIS FRIEND DURREL. - Both: DURREL?
BENNY SAYS HE'S SCAMMING ALL THE TIME.
YEAH, I'M LEAVIN' FOR THE ARMY TOMORROW. GOIN' OFF TO WAR.
WHO KNOWS IF I'LL EVER MAKE IT BACK.
REALLY? WHICH ONE?
UH, YOU KNOW, THAT SADDAM HUSSEIN?
VIETNAM.
YEAH. YEAH.
- TANYA, DON'T GET JEALOUS NOW. - PLEASE.
THIS MORNING I WENT FOR A RIDE IN HIS MERCEDES.
- HE GOT A MERCEDES? - YEAH.
- Candace: HI. DURREL? - CALL YOU IF I MAKE IT BACK.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL DAY.
- OH, REALLY? - UH-HUH.
- WHO WAS THAT? - OH-- PHHH!
( laughs ) NO ONE.
SO, UM, I THOUGHT I WASN'T YOUR TYPE.
OH, COME ON. THAT WAS JUST TALK.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D GIVE UP SO EASILY.
SO, UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
- WHATEVER YOU ARE, BABY. - ( giggles )
WELL, THEN, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GO FOR A NICE, LONG RIDE ALONG THE COAST?
I'D DO ANYTHING FOR JUST A NICE, RELAXING RIDE.
TOP DOWN.
WIND IN MY HAIR.
YOU KNOW, I JUST QUIVER ALL OVER
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
BENNY! BENNY, MAN. I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' ALL OVER FOR YOU!
- WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN? - I'M JUST THINKIN', MAN.
I NEEDS TO BORROW THE CAR TONIGHT.
- WHAT? - I NEED TO BORROW THE CAR. IT'S LIFE OR DEATH!
- NO. - DON'T MAKE ME BEG, MAN.
GET OUT OF MY FACE, DURREL.
I'LL GET ON MY KNEES AND BEG LIKE A LITTLE BABY DOG.
DURREL, READ MY LIPS. YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING MY DAD'S CAR!
BUT IT'S THIS GIRL, MAN.
- I THINK I REALLY LIKE HER. - YEAH, YOU LIKE HER, HUH?
LIKE HER ENOUGH TO BOUNCE HER ON YOUR DICK?
NO, MAN, I'M TALKIN' SERIOUS. AND I CAN GET HER IF I--
- LIE TO HER AND TELL HER YOU GOT A NICE CAR? - NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
- SHE DON'T CARE IF I DRIVE A BICYCLE. - IS THAT RIGHT?
WELL, YOU'D BETTER GET YOURSELF A SCHWINN, 'CAUSE I CAN'T HELP YOU.
REMEMBER LOVE, MAN? YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE IN LOVE TODAY.
I'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOU GET THAT GIRL. SO HELP ME.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME ABUSING WOMEN. THIS'LL STOP ME.
I GOT A PROBLEM, MAN. HELP ME, BENNY. SAVE ME.
YOU DON'T LIKE THIS GIRL.
I THINK THIS COULD BE THE ONLY GIRL I'M EVER WITH AGAIN, EVER.
- YOU'RE LYING. - I'M SERIOUS!
- WHO IS SHE THEN? - MET HER AT THE BEACH.
THIS SHIT IS AMAZING. WE BOTH COME DOWN HERE
AND FALL IN LOVE IN THE SAME DAY.
WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR GIRL?
I JUST GAVE HER THIS POEM THAT I WROTE FOR HER.
AH! AGGRESSIVE. WHAT'D SHE SAY?
I DON'T KNOW. I RAN AWAY.
- YOU RAN AWAY? - ISN'T IT AMAZING?
SHE'S GONNA BE SITTING THERE WONDERING FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE
WHAT HER LIFE COULD'VE BEEN LIKE
WITH THIS MYSTERIOUS POET SHE MET ON THE BEACH, MAN.
DON'T TAKE MUCH TO PLEASE YOU, DOES IT?
( sighs ) ALL RIGHT, DURREL.
ONE OF US MIGHT AS WELL GET THE GIRL.
BUT DON'T BE FUCKIN' IN IT!
- HERE. - I OWE YOU BIG-TIME.
YEAH, YOU DO. WE'RE LEAVING FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.
HEY. HERE.
- WHERE YOU GET THIS FROM? - SET ASIDE A LITTLE EMERGENCY FUND.
YOU BEEN HOLDIN' OUT ON ME! YOU PROBABLY GOT SOME MORE.
FOOD.
HEY! YOU GET YOUR CAR BACK?
WHY? YOU DO THAT?
NOPE, BUT I TELL YOU WHAT. YOU CAN TAKE IT OUT OF THE MONEY YOU OWE ME.
OWE YOU? THE BET'S OVER TOMORROW.
AH, TOMORROW'S TOO LATE. I'M GOING TO PICK UP CANDACE RIGHT NOW.
I'LL WAKE YOU WHEN IT'S TIME FOR THE SHOW. SEE YA!
( giggling )
( women speaking Swedish )
( moaning, giggling continues )
WHAT'S UP?
YO, WHAT YOU GOT, SLIMMY-SLIM?
WHAT DO I GOT?
YEAH, YOU KNOW, HOW YOU DOIN'? WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
I'M TRYIN' TO EAT.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR BOY IS?
I DON'T KNOW. HE'S OUT WITH SOME GIRL OR SOMETHING.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY WENT?
- THEY IN A HOTEL BAR RIGHT DOWN THERE. - THIS HOTEL?
- WHAT DO YOU NEED WITH HIM? - RELAX, MY MAN.
I'M NOT LOOKING FOR HIM. I'M LOOKIN' FOR THAT GIRL THAT HE'S WITH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HER, BUT DURREL'S PRETTY MUCH INTO HER.
HOPEFULLY NOT BEFORE I'M INTO HER,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'.
- NO. - ME AND YOUR BOY PUT A BET DOWN.
WHO COULD, YOU KNOW, WAX THAT ASS FIRST.
A BET? DURREL DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO BET.
HE PUT UP HIS BOX AGAINST MY $300.
HIS BOX? THAT'S MY BOX!
EASY, BIG GUY. THERE'S PEOPLE TRYIN' TO SLEEP AROUND HERE.
MAN, TO HELL WITH YOU.
- WHERE YOU GOIN'? - TO KILL DURREL.
DURREL, THAT CAR HANDLES REAL NICE.
OH, YEAH? HOW DO YOU HANDLE?
SLOW DOWN, BABY. SO, HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD IT?
- WHAT? - THE CAR.
OH, THE CAR. ABOUT TWO YEARS.
EVER SINCE I BOUGHT THE BEACH HOUSE.
OH, REALLY. IS IT RIGHT ON THE BEACH?
- RIGHT ON THE ATLANTIC. - YOU MEAN THE PACIFIC.
THAT TOO.
WHY DON'T WE GO BACK TO YOUR BEACH HOUSE?
NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'.
WELL, I'M JUST GONNA GO FRESHEN UP A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?
BABY, DURREL GIVE YOU ALL THE FRESHINGS YOU NEED.
- CAN I DRIVE? - DRIVE?
WRECK THAT MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU WANT TO.
WHOO!
WELL, AIN'T WE JUST THE SMOOTH TALKER?
- WHAT'S UP, BABY? - I AIN'T YOUR BABY.
WHATEVER.
- ( man hoots ) - SHIT!
THAT'S A $12 T-SHIRT YOU JUST RUINED!
YEAH, UH, HI, OFFICER.
I'M A HANDICAPPED MAN, AND THIS GODDAMN CAR
IS JUST TAKING UP ALL THEM HANDICAPPED SPOTS.
YES, IT'S, UM, IT'S A CONVERTIBLE MERCEDES.
- HEY, BENNY. - HOW YOU DOIN'?
HI. WHERE YOU GOING?
I GOTTA FIND DURREL.
- WHAT'S UP, CUZ? - DON'T "WHAT'S UP, CUZ?" ME. THIS WAS A BET?
YOU FUCKED AROUND WITH MY DAD'S CAR AND THIS WAS ALL A BET?
- RELAX, MAN. - AND YOU BETTED MY BOX?
- BENNY, CHILL. - MAN, GIVE ME THE KEYS. I'M LEAVING.
MAN, YOU WAY TOO UPTIGHT.
ALL WEEKEND YOU FUCKED AROUND WITH THE GLASSES,
AND YOU TREATED EVERY GIRL LIKE SHIT.
DON'T ANY OF 'EM MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
NOPE.
DOES THIS ONE EVEN KNOW SHE'S A BET?
WHAT ARE YOU? THE LEADER OF THE WOMEN'S MOVEMENT OR SOMETHING?
YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW THIS GIRL.
DURREL, I DON'T HAVE TO KNOW HER.
I JUST DON'T TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
I DON'T CARE WHO THEY ARE.
HI, DURREL. YOU READY TO GO?
YOU. HI. THANKS FOR THAT POEM TODAY.
IT WAS SO SWEET.
HE GAVE YOU A POEM TODAY?
YEAH. MM-HMM.
BENNY, I'M SORRY, MAN!
BENNY, I'M SORRY, MAN. I DIDN'T KNOW.
- HOW COULD YOU? - I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR GIRL, MAN.
IT SHOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE WHOSE GIRL IT WAS, DURREL.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
- YOU'RE A LOWLIFE. - I KNOW.
- A SCUMBAG. - I AGREE.
LOWER THAN THE ANIMAL. GARBAGE!
SOMEONE WHO JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT NOBODY BUT THEYSELF.
WHAT CAN I SAY EXCEPT I CAN'T HELP IT.
HEY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.
I JUST SAW MY CAR.
CAR? DOES THE WORD "OBSESSION" MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME IN TWO DAYS WE'VE SEEN YOUR ONE-IN-A-MILLION CAR.
NO, BABY. I'M SURE THIS TIME.
NO, I'M SURE YOU TIRED FROM DRIVING ALL OVER THE WORLD TRYING TO FIND A HOTEL.
NOW, CAN WE JUST GO IN HERE AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP?
MORE THAN ANY ANIMAL. GARBAGE, TRASH.
A PERSON WHO HAS NO FEELINGS FOR ANYBODY BUT HIMSELF.
WE LEAVING TONIGHT, MAN. THAT'S IT.
COOL. ALL RIGHT. TONIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT. I JUST WANNA FORGET THIS WEEKEND EVER HAPPENED.
I CALLED MR. JOHNSON BACK.
HE SAID I CAN COME BACK TO WORK AS SOON AS I'M PHYSICALLY READY.
THEN WE DO IT.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST GET OUR BAGS AND GO.
- OKAY. - ALL RIGHT.
- THERE'S JUST ONE SMALL PROBLEM. - WHAT?
IT'S A YELLOW MERCEDES, LICENSE PLATE "DOCTOR T."
- $150! - DAMN!
- DO I GET A BLOW WITH THAT? - DURREL, WE'LL NEVER GET THE CAR BACK!
NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING. JUST A MINUTE.
GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY YOU GOT, MAN. I'LL HANDLE THIS.
THAT'S ALL I GOT.
HOW 'BOUT $7 AND SOME CHANGE?
- ( dial tone ) - HELLO? HELLO?
DAMN IT! THEY HUNG UP ON YOU!
WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.
HERE WE ARE, ALONE AT LAST.
- MM-HMM. - THIS NICE, WARM BED...
- MM-HMM. - AND THIS NICE, WARM ROOM...
- MM-HMM. - NEXT TO THAT NICE, WARM OCEAN.
- MM-HMM. - HOW 'BOUT SOME LOVIN' FOR MR. PEPPY?
MR. PEPPY'S HAD A LONG, HARD DAY.
MR. PEPPY'S DAY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO LONG AND HARD
IF MR. PEPPY HADN'T FORGOT THE MAP.
LET'S JUST GO TO SLEEP,
WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND FORGET THIS TRIP EVER HAPPENED.
OH, BUT, BABY, IT HASN'T BEEN THAT BAD.
IT'S BEEN REAL BAD.
Benny: HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID TO PARK IN A HANDICAPPED ZONE?
- DON'T YELL AT ME. - WELL, WHY DID YOU PARK THERE THEN?
MAN, I DIDN'T KNOW HANDICAPPED PEOPLE GO DANCING.
YOU THINK IT'S ALL A JOKE. WELL, NOW YOU KNOW THEY GO DANCING!
- Benny: AND-- - Durrel: AND?
Benny: AND WE AIN'T GOT NO MONEY FOR FOOD
AND I'M HUNGRY AND WE AIN'T GOT NO MONEY TO GET THE CAR.
JESUS CHRIST!
WHAT ELSE COULD YOU DO TO FUCK UP MY LIFE? HUH, DURREL?
- WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? - ( knocking )
Father: HEY, HOLD THAT SHIT DOWN! IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING!
- SOUNDS LIKE MY FATHER. - HEY, OPEN UP.
( whispering ) THAT IS MY FATHER.
GET THE DOOR.
- DURREL? - HEY, MR. KING. WHAT'S UP?
WHAT YOU DOING HERE?
UH, JUST KICKIN' IT.
TOO BAD BENNY AIN'T HERE KICKIN' IT WITH YOU,
BUT HE'S BEIN' RESPONSIBLE THIS SUMMER, EARNING A LIVING FOR HIMSELF.
YEAH, THAT BENJAMIN IS ONE RESPONSIBLE KID YOU GOT THERE.
DURREL, HOLD IT DOWN.
YES, SIR, MR. KING.
- GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT.
- I'M OUTTA HERE. - WHERE YOU GOIN'?
TO GO TELL MY DAD.
YO, YO, YO. WHAT'S UP? YOU GET YOUR CAR BACK?
- YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY? - TAKE IT EASY! TAKE IT EASY!
- YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY. - IT'S NOT MY FAULT GENIUS OVER HERE
DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HANDICAPPED AND MENTALLY HANDICAPPED.
I'LL LET HIM AT YOU AGAIN!
I JUST CAME BY TO MAKE SURE THAT SHOW YOU PROMISED TONIGHT WASN'T GOING OFF.
- BET'S OFF. - BET'S OFF? WRONG!
THE BET IS JUST BEGINNING.
GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE PLAYIN' IN THE $10,000 TOURNAMENT TOMORROW? ME.
MAYBE YOU AND MR. FITNESS OVER HERE SHOULD PUT A TEAM TOGETHER.
OHH, THAT IS SO FUNNY!
HERE'S THE BEST PART: SWEET LITTLE CANDACE IS ON MY TEAM.
- I'M GONNA GET LAID. - YOU GONNA GET WHAT?
- WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM, MAN? - HE GETS CRAZY SOMETIMES, MAN.
SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW. PEACE.
AND I'M GONNA GET LAID! ( laughs )
HOW WE GONNA GET MY DAD'S CAR BACK?
MAN, WAKE UP! SHIT.
- WHAT? - $10,000. VOLLEYBALL.
WITH THAT CRAZY SERVE OF YOURS AND MY SKILLS, WE CAN'T LOSE.
BUT, DURELL, I GOT TO GET BACK HOME TOMORROW SO I CAN GO TO WORK.
WITH $10,000, YOU WON'T NEED TO WORK.
AND WHEN CANDACE SEES THAT CRAZY SERVE OF YOURS,
SHE GONNA GO CRAZY FOR YOUR SHIT.
MMM.
CANDACE WATCHING YOU
IN THAT LITTLE ITTY BITTY BIKINI OF HERS?
WELL, WHERE WE GONNA GET THE PLAYERS FROM?
SORRY, PARTNERS. YEAH, I'M SORRY. THAT'S RIGHT.
- YOU GIRLS PLAY VOLLEYBALL? - ( giggling )
WE'RE HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THAT VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT.
- $25 SIGN-UP FEE, PLEASE. - SAY WHAT, PARTNER?
I SAID $25.
DURREL. COME HERE, MAN.
WHERE WE GONNA GET $25 FROM TO PLAY THIS GAME, MAN?
CHILL, DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A WAD. I'LL HANDLE THIS.
UM, SINCE I'M SO DAMN FINE... ( laughs )
HOW 'BOUT $7 AND SOME CHANGE?
HOW ABOUT $25?
FROM NOW ON, I'M HANDLING THINGS.
- HI, BENNY! - HEY, DENISE.
- THIS HERE'S MY FRIEND DURREL. - HI, DURREL.
YOU LOOK UPSET. IS SOMETHING WRONG?
NO. IT'S JUST THAT WE CAN'T ENTER THE TOURNAMENT
BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE THE $25 ENTRY FEE.
I'VE GOT 20.
- GIVE IT UP! - SHUT UP, DURREL!
WE CAN'T TAKE YOUR MONEY, DENISE.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
CANDACE AND TANYA DIDN'T EVEN ASK ME TO PLAY ON THEIR TEAM,
SO MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU BEAT THEM.
IF YOU WIN, YOU CAN TAKE ME TO DINNER OR SOMETHING.
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, COOL. - Tanya: WE'VE GOT TO GO!
- OH, THANKS. - OH, I'VE GOTTA GO.
- HOPE TO SEE YOU LATER. - ALL RIGHT. BYE, DENISE.
HEY, YO, MAN. OLD GIRL GOT IT GOIN' FOR YOU.
YO, MAN, IT AIN'T EVEN LIKE THAT WITH ME AND HER. ME AND HER ARE JUST FRIENDS.
MAN, FRIENDS ARE JUST GIRLS THAT YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED YET.
- DURREL, DO ME A FAVOR. - WHAT'S UP?
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP. LET'S GO GET THE GIRLS.
25! NOW WHERE THAT COURT AT?
YO, YO, CHECK IT OUT!
WELCOME TO THE FIRST ANNUAL HIP-HOP VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT!
( cheering )
WORD UP. YO, WHAT'S UP?
THIS IS TRE BLACK FROM 92.3 THE BEAT COMING TO YOU LIVE.
TODAY'S WINNER IS GOING TO RECEIVE $10,000!
SO KICK THE BEAT, BIG BABY!
( cheering continues )
- DAMN! - OOOH!
Tre: PRETTY ATHLETIC FOR A FAT BOY!
- ( grunting ) - ( crowd gasps )
- ( applause ) - Tre: YEAH, THE CROWD IS HYPED!
Woman: BEAUTIFUL!
Benny: ACES ALL DAY!
Tre: HEY, YO, THAT'S A SHUTOUT.
PHAT SERVES BY THE FAT MAN
MEANS A BIG FAT-ASS ZERO FOR THE GREEN TEAM.
EVEN THE LADIES ARE GETTIN' INTO THIS FAT BOY.
- YEAH! YES! - ( crowd cheering )
Tanya: HIT IT, BABY!
( cheering )
UNBELIEVABLE!
YO, LET'S BREAK FOR LUNCH.
HEY, YO, FAT MAN, DON'T FILL UP ON THE FREE HOT DOGS.
THIS FOOD ALONE IS WORTH STAYIN'.
NEVER MIND THE $10,000.
- HEY, NICE SERVIN'. - YEAH, I KNOW.
HEY, DURREL, I'LL BE OVER THERE.
YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET.
INGA AND ULGA, OR WHATEVER THE HELL THEIR NAME IS,
WAS ON THE '88 OLYMPIC TEAM.
- TOURNAMENT'S ALL WRAPPED UP. - WE'LL SEE, BABY.
WE GOT A LITTLE SECRET WEAPON OF OUR OWN.
HEY, BENNY. GOOD FOOT-LONG?
MM-HMM.
UH, SO, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU,
THAT POEM YOU WROTE ME--
IT WAS SO ROMANTIC.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO APPROACH YOU,
BUT...
GOOD LUCK.
( chuckles ) OHH. WHOO.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO!
UH, I-I HOPE YOU WIN!
DADDY, LOOK. IT'S BENNY.
BENNY?
BENNY. BENNY!
WHAT?
- OH, SHIT! - WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN' HERE?
UH, I GOT A VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT OVER THERE.
VOLLEYBALL? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING!
THEY GAVE ME THE WEEKEND OFF.
- I BET HE GOT FIRED. - LET YOUR FATHER HANDLE THIS.
- WISH YOU'D SHUT UP. - HOW'D YOU GET HERE?
- I WALKED. - FROM BAKERSFIELD?
NO, FROM THE HOTEL.
HOTEL? BENNY, GET YOUR SHIT. YOU'RE GOING HOME.
- BUT, DAD, THIS IS FOR MONEY. - YOU CAN'T PLAY VOLLEYBALL.
- HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? - OH, LOOK AT YOU! YOUR CONDITION!
YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING!
ALL YOU SAY IS, "YOU'RE TOO FAT, YOU'RE TOO CLUMSY."
- ALL I WANTED TO DO THIS SUMMER WAS WRITE. - I GOT YOU A JOB.
YEAH, FLIPPIN' BURGERS. HOW FAR IS THAT GONNA GET ME?
AT LEAST IF I WIN, I CAN PAY FOR MY POETRY CLASS.
YEAH, AND IF YOU LOSE, HOW YOU GONNA EAT?
BENNY, GET YOUR SHIT. YOU'RE GOING HOME!
I'LL DIET.
DAD, I LOVE YOU, BUT THIS IS SOMETHIN' I GOTTA DO.
AND IF I LOSE, I'LL DEAL WITH IT MY WAY.
BYE, MA. SEE YOU LATER.
THE BOY'S GOT SOME FIGHT.
TAKES AFTER ME.
HEY, YO, YO, YO! WE'RE DOWN TO THE FINAL TWO TEAMS
IN THE VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT TODAY.
- ( cheering ) - GIVE IT UP
FOR THE GRAND PRIZE OF $10,000! $10,000!
YO, THE BLUE TEAM HAS BEEN AWARDED THE SERVE.
THEY BEEN SPANKIN' THAT ASS ALL DAY.
THE FAT MAN'S BEEN ON IT. I THINK THE RED TEAM'S IN TROUBLE.
- WHAT Y'ALL THINK? - ( cheering )
YO, LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED RIGHT.
IT'S ON! COWARDS!
- ( grunts ) - ( crowd cheers )
- ( crowd laughing ) - ( laughing )
( cheering continues )
- ( grunts ) - HELL, YEAH!
( cheering continues )
- CHASE IT! - TANYA!
- IT WAS IN YOUR CORNER! - DID YOU SEE THAT SERVE?
HERE COMES ANOTHER!
- AND ANOTHER! - ( groans )
AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER!
( groans )
COME ON! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE!
- ( groans ) - ( crowd groans )
COME ON. WHAT WAS THAT?
OHH! OH. ALMOST. ALMOST.
ABOUT THIS MUCH MORE AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN OVER.
( groans )
- OOOH! - YEAH! YEAH-HAH-HAH!
- COME ON. - YEAH.
WHY DIDN'T YOU GET IT?
- COME ON, SWEETHEART. - NAH, NAH. SEE? YOU CAN'T PLAY.
YOU'RE BORING ME! YOU'RE BORING ME.
COME ON. HIT THE BALL!
AAAH!
- HEY, WHAT YOU DOIN'? - BACK UP! BACK UP!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, BENNY!
OH, THAT SERVE WAS JUST A LITTLE TOO HARD FOR ME.
MAYBE YOU COULD HIT IT JUST A LITTLE BIT LIGHTER?
SURE. OKAY.
- BENNY, DON'T GO FOR THAT BULLSHIT! - LISTEN.
IF YOU LOSE, WE COULD GO FOR A NICE WALK, ME AND YOU.
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CONTINUE THIS GAME NOW. - BENNY, COME ON, MAN!
AND IF I WIN?
( sighs ) PROBABLY WON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING
EXCEPT GOING HOME BY MYSELF TO CRY.
LET THAT BITCH CRY.
THE SERVER MUST SERVE OR FORFEIT THE GAME.
COME ON, FATSO!
- COME ON, BENNY! YOU CAN DO IT! - WANNA KISS ME?
SKIP THAT SHIT! COME ON, MAN!
YEAH, I WANNA KISS YOU.
- NO. DON'T KISS HER. - YEAH. GO AHEAD.
FIRST, YOU HAVE TO LOSE.
SHIT!
DAMN, BENNY! COME ON!
( crowd chanting ) BENNY! BENNY! BENNY! BENNY!
- COME ON, BENNY! - ON YOUR FEET, BENNY!
COME ON, BENNY! C'EST VOTRE MONDE!
( gasps )
- WHAT DID YOU SAY? - C'EST VOTRE MONDE.
IT MEANS, "IT'S YOUR WORLD." ( echoing )
SO, IF I LOSE, YOU'LL KISS ME, HUH?
UH-HUH.
LET'S DO IT.
UHH! THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
HEY! WHAT ABOUT US?
WE'RE OVER, BABY.
( cheering continues )
( chanting continues ) BENNY! BENNY! BENNY!
BENNY! BENNY! BENNY! BENNY!
( chanting fades )
( cheering )
( whistling )
♪ YOU ARE MY KIND OF GUY ♪
♪ AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT, OOOH ♪
♪ YOU ARE MY KIND OF GUY ♪
♪ EVEN THOUGH I DON'T SHOW IT ♪
♪ OOOH-OOH-OOH ♪
♪ I KNOW YOU USED TO PARTY ALL NIGHT WITH THE GIRLS ♪
♪ BUT IN THIS CASE THAT AIN'T COOL ♪
♪ UP HERE YOU CAN BE SOMEONE ELSE'S TYPE ♪
♪ BUT WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME YOUR TIME IS ALL MINE ♪
♪ YOU ARE MY KIND OF GUY ♪
♪ AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT. ♪
YO, WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY IN THE HOUSE?
GIVE IT UP FOR TRE BLACK AND THE BLACKNESS PARTY!
- ♪ COME ON ♪ - ♪ PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT ♪
♪ THIS FOR MY PEOPLE ON THE POSITIVE ♪
♪ DRUM AND A BASS FOR THE BOOTY HERE TO MOVE YOUR MIND, CUTIE ♪
♪ YOU CAN MOVE A MOUNTAIN SEPARATIN' US EAST TO WEST... ♪
DAD.
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT, YOU KNOW, QUITTIN' THAT JOB YOU GOT FOR ME.
DON'T BE, BENJ-- BENNY.
I'M PROUD OF YOU, BOY.
YOU SAW SOMETHIN', YOU WENT AFTER IT AND YOU GOT IT.
OH, AND THAT POETRY CLASS?
- YOUR MOM'LL PAY FOR IT. - NO, NO, AH-AH--
I'LL PAY FOR IT. ( laughing )
BUT, DAD, I WON THE MONEY.
SPEND IT ON THIS BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY RIGHT HERE.
- SPEND SOME MONEY ON ME TOO, BENNY. - ( laughing )
- ♪ COME ON ♪ - ♪ PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT ♪
♪ HERE WE GO ♪
♪ BACK TO YOUR ROOTS WITH THE HERBS AND THE FRUITS AND THE BIG BLACK GATOR BOOTS ♪
♪ LADIES ON THE DANCE FLOOR SECOND THAT NATURE ♪
♪ EAST TO THE WEST SIDE DOWN FOR THE RIDE ♪
♪ IF YOU WANNA COME JUST ROLL WITH THE FLAVOR ♪
♪ TREAT THE BROTHERS FROM THE EAST AND THE WEST LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR ♪
♪ AND LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR I'LL BE THERE ♪
♪ HOLD ON, Y'ALL, ANSWER THIS QUESTION HERE ♪
- ♪ DO THE EAST SIDE RUN THIS MUTHA? ♪ - HELL, YEAH!
- ♪ DO THE WEST SIDE RUN THIS MUTHA? ♪ - HELL, YEAH!
- ♪ DO MY PEOPLE RUN THIS MUTHA? ♪ - HELL, YEAH!
- ♪ SO DO WE ALL RUN THIS MUTHA? ♪ - HELL, YEAH!
♪ 'NUFF RESPECT TO THE EAST AND THE WEST... ♪
YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO GET HOME OKAY?
I GOT THE CAR BACK, MASSA.
DURREL.
YEAH, POP, WE'LL, UH-- WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL, UH, TAKE THE BUS IN THE MORNING.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
ME AND YOUR MAMA GONNA TURN IN EARLY TONIGHT.
WE DIDN'T GET LOST TONIGHT, DID WE, BABY? MMM!
WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID?
YO, MAN, HERE ARE THE KEYS. I'M OUT.
YO, HO, HO, HO. SLOW YOUR ROLL.
( laughs ) UH, I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
WHAT?
- CANDACE IS UP IN THE ROOM. - IN THE ROOM?
- IN THE BED. - UNDER THE COVERS.
- WITH THE LIGHTS OFF. - DAMN!
LOOKS LIKE I WOULD'VE WON THAT BETTY-BET AFTER ALL.
YEAH, YOU WOULD HAVE.
BUT, UH, GO AND GET IT ANYWAY.
OH, YOU KNOW THAT MANDO.
OH, BUT, UH, BE SURE TO LEAVE THE LIGHTS OFF.
OH, YOU DONE FOUND YOURSELF
A LITTLE SOMETHIN' SOMETHIN', NOW YOU'RE TEACHIN' ME?
DURREL! SHUT UP.
- SORRY, DENISE. - SHE LOVES THE DARK.
THE "DO NOT DISTURB" SIGN WILL BE ON THE DOOR.
HO, HO, HO. BEFORE YOU GO, LOOK, UH--
TAKE THIS. SHE LIKES ICE.
( laughs )
- ♪ PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT ♪ - ♪ ATLANTA ♪
- ♪ PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT ♪ - ♪ MIAMI ♪
- ♪ PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT ♪ - ♪ L. A. ♪
- ♪ PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT ♪ - ♪ NEW YORK... ♪
( music continues faint )
WHERE'S YOUR TITTY AT?
( both screaming )
( sobbing )
♪ EVEN WHEN YOU SLEEP ♪
♪ EVEN AS YOU BREATHE ♪
♪ YOU'LL BE THINKIN' ABOUT MY FACE... ♪
WHY DON'T WE GO RIDE DOWN THIS COAST?
- WHAT ABOUT DURREL? - CATCH THE BUS.
♪ YOU'LL BE THINKIN' 'BOUT MY FACE ♪
♪ VISIT US IN YOUR SLEEP YOU WITHOUT ME ♪
♪ EVERYONE'S ASLEEP SO WE DEFINITELY HAVE TO CREEP UP ♪
♪ TAKIN' OVER INSIDE OUT THROUGH YOUR LUNGS ♪
♪ I KEPT ON A-TALKIN' THERE WAS ONE GUY A-COMIN' BACK TO GET SOME ♪
♪ I GOTTA SWING IT TO THE LEFT OF MY G-STRING ♪
♪ AND NOW WE SWING IT TO THE RIGHT AND IT'S THE SAME THING... ♪
( music fades )
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
BUCWEE BOIZ, WE IN THE HOUSE!
( echoing )
♪ LET'S DANCE ♪
♪ UHH-UHH-UHH UHH-UHH-UHH ♪
♪ GET IT ON DOWN GET IT ON DOWN ♪
♪ I GOTCHA, BABY ♪
♪ I GOTCHA, BABY, I GOTCHA, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOTS TO GO, YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ SO HIT THE DOOR 'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH, GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH ♪
♪ YOU GOTS TO GO, YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ SO HIT THE DOOR 'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH, GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH ♪
- ♪ LET'S DANCE ♪ - ♪ HERE WE GO HERE WE GO, YO ♪
♪ HUBBA-BUBBA-BABY WITH THE BUCWEE BOIZ ♪
♪ WE SAID WE IN THE HOUSE AND WE MAKING NOISE ♪
♪ YO, GETTIN' THIS PARTY STARTED ♪
♪ BIG BUTT GIRL START ACTIN' RETARDED ♪
♪ TWEAKIN' IT, GETTIN' SOME ♪
♪ KICKIN' THAT HEY-BOP-A-LU-BO-WHOA I TOLD YOU BEFORE ♪
♪ IF YOU AIN'T ON THE DANCE FLOOR YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ GET TO STEPPIN', BABY, BABY LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN ♪
♪ GET OFF THE WALL, LET'S TAKE A CHANCE ♪
♪ SAY WHAT, YOU DON'T WANNA DANCE UHH, YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ HIT THE DOOR AND DON'T COME BACK NO MORE ♪
♪ HELL YEAH, DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOIN' ♪
♪ BUT YOU'RE GETTIN' UP OUTTA HERE ♪
♪ PUDDY TAT'S COMIN', PUDDY TAT'S COMIN' ♪
♪ PUDDY TAT'S COMIN' ♪
- ♪ PUDDY TAT'S COMIN' ♪ - BIG TIME!
♪ I CAN'T HEAR YOU, WHAT'D YOU SAY, BUDDY L ♪
♪ UH-UH-UHH, UH-UH-UHH ♪
♪ GET IT ON DOWN, GET IT ON DOWN ♪
♪ I GOTCHA, BABY, I GOTCHA, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOTS TO GO, YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ SO HIT THE DOOR 'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH, GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH ♪
♪ YOU GOTS TO GO, YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ SO HIT THE DOOR 'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH, GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S THAT NUMBER-ONE ZODIAC SIGN? ♪ - ARIES!
♪ I SAID, WHAT'S THAT NUMBER-ONE ZODIAC SIGN? ♪
ARIES!
♪ WON'T BE NO LADIES PRESENT FOR THE F-- ♪
♪ I SAID, FELLAS, LET'S BURN THIS MOTHER-- ♪
♪ OOH, LORD, WHAT'S GOIN' ON? ♪
♪ AIN'T NO LADIES FOR THIS MUTHA ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH! BUT WE FUN! ♪
♪ SOMEBODY SCREAM! ♪
♪ BREAK OUT ♪
♪ UHH-UHH-UHH, UHH-UHH-UHH ♪
♪ GET IT ON DOWN, GET IT ON DOWN ♪
- ♪ WHAT YOU GOT? ♪ - ♪ I GOTCHA, BABY ♪
♪ I GOTCHA, BABY, I GOTCHA, BABY ♪
♪ I GOTCHA, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOTS TO GO, YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ SO HIT THE DOOR 'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU GOTS TO GO ♪
♪ GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH, GET YOUR BIG BUTT HIGH ♪
♪ LET'S DANCE. ♪
GET TO STEPPIN'!
AND DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK!
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE ♪
♪ LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV" ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE ♪
♪ LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV" ♪
♪ HAVE A FLY BOOTY LIKE A CUTIE OFF THE PAGES OF A MAG TYPE ♪
♪ I GOT THE FEVER FOR THE FLAVOR WHAT YOUR LOVE LIKE ♪
♪ I MAY BE STRONG BUT I AIN'T TRIPPIN' UP MY MANHOOD ♪
♪ 69 FOR THE WAYS I MAKE YOU DAMN GOOD ♪
♪ AND NEVER GIVE A HOO' 'BOUT WHAT THE NEXT SAY ♪
♪ I GOT YOUR BACK THIRTY-SIX-FIVE ALL DAY ♪
♪ I'M GIVIN' WHAT YOU NEED WHAT YOU PLEASE BE ♪
♪ BEG AND PLEAD, NEVER NEED KEEP IT REAL, SEE ♪
♪ I'LL TAKE YOU ON A TRIP AROUND THE ATMOS ♪
♪ TIP OR TOKES PUT IT DOWN TO THE UTMOST ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WHEN I NEED A FRIEND YOU'S A FRIEND ♪
♪ WHEN I NEEDED BREAD YOU WAS STEADY KICKIN' IN ♪
♪ SO NOW WE LIVE AND LAY LIKE A FAT CAT ♪
♪ DROP TOP IN THE BREEZE LAY YOUR HEAD BACK ♪
♪ AND GET INTO THE GROOVE WITH ME ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, "SMOOV" ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT, LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV", LAY ON BACK ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT, LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV" ♪
♪ NOW THROW YOUR HANDS, IN THE AIR, IN THE AIR ♪
♪ AND WAVE 'EM 'ROUND LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE, YOU DON'T CARE ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GET YOUR GROOVE ON WITH THE "SMOOV" JONES ♪
♪ LET ME KNOW 'CAUSE B-M-DUB'S GONNA TAKE YOU THERE ♪
♪ NOW THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, IN THE AIR ♪
♪ AND WAVE 'EM 'ROUND LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE, YOU DON'T CARE ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GET YOUR GROOVE ON TO THE "SMOOV" JONES ♪
♪ LET ME KNOW 'CAUSE B-M-DUB'S GONNA TAKE YOU THERE ♪
♪ NOW CAN I GET PAID OR CAN I GET LAID? ♪
♪ HOW YOU DO? I'LL DO YA, HOW YOU WANT ME TO ♪
♪ BEEN KEEPIN' GAME SINCE THE THIRD GRADE ♪
♪ I'M TRYIN' TO PUT IT DOWN LIKE A "PLAYA" ♪
♪ I WALK LIKE A "PLAYA", WANNA TALK LIKE A "PLAYA" ♪
♪ THE SITUATION, CONVERSATION GOOD VIBRATION ♪
♪ IT'S SINGIN' FOR THE GREEN GOD I'M CHASIN' ♪
♪ THE PRICE OF FAME AND GAIN TELL ME HOW TO MAINTAIN, IT'S THE SAME OL' GAME ♪
♪ BABY, I CAN SEE THAT YOU IN NEED OF SOMETHIN' ♪
♪ COULD IT BE THE MONEY? ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IF IT IS YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' COMIN' ♪
♪ I HEARD YOU GOT A GRIP FROM TOM SLICK COOL ♪
♪ HOW'D IT FEEL TO TAKE A LITTLE BOY TO SCHOOL? ♪
♪ DID YOU HIT HIM WITH THE CANDY? ♪
♪ YEAH, THAT SHIT'LL COME IN HANDY ♪
♪ I HAD YOU LIVIN' LIKE LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE ♪
♪ AT BEST I STAND TO LOSE A STACK OF MY CHEESE ♪
♪ IN THE LAND WHERE THE SCAMMERS DECEIVE ♪
♪ I BELIEVE TO THIS DAY STEADY AS WE GO, B ♪
♪ AND LET'S GROOVE TO THAT S-M-O-O-V ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, YEAH ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, "SMOOV" ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV", THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, "SMOOV" ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, GROOVE ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV", THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, YEAH ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV", LAY ON BACK ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, "G" ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT THAT S-M-O-O-V, "SMOOV" ♪
♪ SO GET INTO THE GROOVE, GROOVE ♪
♪ LAY BACK TO THE "SMOOV" ♪
♪ YEAH, B-M-DUB, BABY, B-M-DUB, BABY ♪